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Kids say the funniest things

I love talking to children. I love listening to them experiment with language.

They make such innocent mistakes. I love their literal explanation of everything they see. They often say things openly that any adult would cringe at, shy away from and blush the colour of a tomato!

Young girl talking

Have you ever been in a public toilet and heard another child talk very loudly to their parent about private things? I think most of us have. So innocent!

I thought I’d write a round up of all the things my children have said and done and things I’ve heard others say too. It always makes me smile.

Children’s mispronunciations

  • When my son was little, one of his first words was clock, only, he pronounced it as ‘cock’! That was fine, except everywhere we went, he’d point to a clock and shout ‘cock’, yes even in the supermarket! It turned a few heads I can tell you!
  • Chocolate cake initially started out as ‘plop-plop cake’.
  • Computer used to be pronounced as ‘percooter’. I always thought that was so cute!
  • Hair clips are ‘plips’ even to this day.
  • Kiwis are ‘kiniwiwis’! Goodness knows why my twins want to make a word even longer and more complicated than it needs to be?!
  • Over dinner one of my girls asked “what is this?” I replied “It’s like a puff pastry pizza”, she repeated back “What? A puff pastry ‘pisser’?! I actually cried laughing, wicked mother that I am!
  • Peacocks are ‘keycocks’

Funny questions kids ask

  • “Did the three wise men buy their presents in a shop?” (age 3)
  • “Dinosaurs aren’t real are they?” Then answers own question “Not this time of year!”
  • “What are eyebrows for?”
  • “Why does your tummy get empty?”
  • “How did you make me?” (whilst walking into school) then said “Did you have to get all the bones and bits?” (Ermmm, not the right moment to answer that question walking through the school gates!) (Age 5)
  • One of my twins (girls) said ”We were in your tummy weren’t we?” I replied “Yes”, she then said “And our brother was in daddy’s tummy wasn’t he?” (Ermmm, NO, Wish that was possible!)
  • “Who will be my Nanny, now that Nanny (Grandmother) has retired?”
  • “If I eat more food, will my birthday come more quickly?” (as eating food helps you grow, so if he eats more, he’ll grow more and get older quicker).

Funny things kids say

  • BB was asked (aged 2) “where do pinecones come from”? He replies “pineapple trees”
  • BB was asked (aged 2) “where does cheese come from?” He replied “mice”!
  • When Pinky (aged 2) was asked “where does milk come from?” she replied “the kitchen” (Looking at us like we were mad not to know that?!)
  • In our house pins and needles are called ‘Fizzy feet’ – I love that!
  • In June Daddy refitted the bathroom & BB aged 4 said “Wow, you’ve finished the bathroom daddy, and you did it before Christmas!” (We did laugh!)
  • “You have to go to Spain in a space rocket” (Aged 3)
  • After a trip to the toilet in a quiet restaurant, a boy comes back to the table and says in a very loud voice “Daddy’s got a willy like fireman Sam’s hose!”
  • In a public toilet cubicle (so everything can be heard) a little girl says “Mummy, you’ve got a hairy bottom!”
  • “We can’t run really, really fast, our legs will run out of air” (aged 3)
  • “Newspaper grows on trees”
  • When asked do you live in ******* Road?, 3 year old answers, “No, I live in a house!”

I absolutely love these quotes, they make me smile every time I think about them. You must admit, kids say the funniest things, don’t they?

What funny things do or have your children said?

8 thoughts on “Kids say the funniest things”

  1. I laughed out loud about fireman sams hose!! In our house blueberries are known as boobies and my 4 year old calls an escalator and aligator!!

  2. So so funny! I LOVE fizzy feet! My boy also calls the computer the ‘poot’ and instead of everybody says ‘all-bodies’. The daft thing is now so do we!

  3. My favourite one with this at the moment is my daughter calls “sticks” – “dicks” so when she copies her Daddy being cross she says “Fiddledicks” *snigger*

  4. Hee hee, we went through the ‘cock’ for ‘clock’ stage as well. Mind you, the funniest one I heard recently is a friend’s daughter who can’t say popcorn, it comes out ‘cockporn’ imagine that one in public!!

  5. These are all adorable – chocolate in our house is still clock clock because we thought it was so cute. My 9 year old is not impressed with us these days 🙂

  6. I absolutely adore stuff like this – kids are hilarious. My Mum always tells people about the time I was small when she received a card from a family called the Shepherds I asked where the one from the Wise Men was!

  7. My little man also says “cock” instead of clock. At least my parents could see the funny side on Christmas Day! Lovely quotes x

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