Striving for perfection is an impossible task. Life throws us many curve balls, we try to dodge them, battle them and tame them, but still another one appears.
Parenting is not about perfection, it’s about learning how best to dodge those balls, manage and cope with whatever is thrown at us whilst providing the best love and support to our family we can.
It’s more about imperfect parenting… we are all human.
So many images and stories in the media and social media portray the ‘perfect parent’. All the books tell you how you should parent and pinterest is full of posts saying things like “10 things you should not say to your children”, giving you the impression you will be damaging them for life if you do. It is hard not to be swept up in this idea that we need to be perfect, it is there for us all to see, day in day out.
Every parent has made mistakes, we all do it and anyone who says differently quite frankly is kidding themselves. If we are honest, we are all imperfect parents, striving to do the best we can in some very turbulent situations.
There are times in life when we sail through nicely on calm happy waters, then suddenly a storm appears from nowhere, from the children, from other family, or work.
It makes no difference where it comes from, it affects everyone. You can feel like you’re swimming upstream, you can feel anxious and powerless. We battle through, trying to be faultless, when really we need to give ourselves a break, we are not perfect, we don’t live in an ideal world.
We are doing the best we can in difficult circumstances.
We need to give ourselves permission to make mistakes. In fact, this can be a good thing for children to see. Showing children no one is perfect, mistakes happen, they can relate to that.
If all they see in their parents is unblemished, faultless behaviour, they will think they need to be this too, which is a hell of a pressure to hold…to be perfect!
We all go through some tough times, we try to do our best, but let’s be honest, are we really going to permanently damage our children if we occasionally raise our voice, or forget to send their PE kit into school, or can’t watch their music concert?
No, we show our children we are human, we show our children we love them and we demonstrate life in the real world.
There are turbulent times ahead, but I am doing my best to be an imperfect parent who loves and supports her family the best way she can.